TEACHER    :    Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA       :    Here it is!
TEACHER    :    Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS        :    Maria!
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TEACHER     :    Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK        :    Because of the sign.
TEACHER     :    What sign?
FRANK        :    The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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TEACHER :  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN     :   You told me to do it without using tables!
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TEACHER    :   Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN       :    K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"
TEACHER    :    No, that's wrong
GLENN       :    Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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TEACHER    :    Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD      :    H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER   :    What are you talking about?
DONALD    :    Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER   : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't  have ten years ago.
WINNIE    :    Me!
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TEACHER  :    Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS          :    Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER    :    Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE      :    I is...
TEACHER    :    No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE      :    All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER    :    Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO        :     Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish  him?"
LOUIS    : Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER      :  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON          :    No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER    :  Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :    No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
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TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people  are no longer interested?
HAROLD   :     A teacher.