Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says  "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

The man said "WHAT????!!!  What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the  planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a  woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."


She  responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am  and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was  going to happen that night, the man went to sleep. The very next day the man opted to take  the day off of work to spend time with her. They went out to a nice lunch and  then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. He walked around  with her while she tried on several different very expensive  outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so he told her we'll just  buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so he said  lets get a pair for each outfit. They went onto the jewellery department where  she picked
out a pair of diamond earrings.  Tell you...she was so  excited.
She must have thought he was one wave short of a shipwreck. He  started to think she was testing him because she asked for a tennis bracelet  when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. He thought he  threw her for a loop  when he said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual  satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she  finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." He could  hardly contain himself when he blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like  it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a  baffled

"WHAT???!!!" He then said, "Really honey! I just wanted you to  HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs  as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And  just when she had this look like she was going to kill him, he added, "Why can't  you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy  you?"

Apparently He will have sex again when pigs fly over a frozen   hell.........