WARNING:CONTAINS VERY STRONG LANGUAGE WHICH IS SEXUAL IN NATURE!!!

(Apologies to those who might get offended with this posting,read thru it and imagine at the end. ouch!!!)

There was a businessman who was getting ready go on a long business trip.He
knew his wife was a flirtatious sort,so he thought he'd get her something to keep her occupied while he was away,because he didn't like the idea of her screwing someone else.

So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around.He
thought about a life sized doll,but that was too close to another man
orhim.He was browsing through the dildos,looking for something special
to please his wife,and started talking to the old man behind the counter
he explained his situation to the old man.
"Well,I don't really know anything that will do the trick.We have
dildos,special attachments and so on but I don't know anything that
will keep her occupied for weeks,except...."
Except what?"asked the businessman.
Nothing,nothing"said the old man.
"C'mon,tell me!I need something"protested the businessman
"Well,sir,I don't usually mention this,but there is the VOODOO
DICK"the old man said.
"So what's up with the voodoo dick?asked the business man.
the old man reached under the counter ,and pulled out an old wooden box
carved with strange symbols.He opened it,and there lay a very ordinary
looking dildo.The business man laughed and said "big ****ing deal.It looks
like any other dildo in this shop!"
The old man said "but you haven't seen what it will do yet"
He pointed to the door and said"VOODOO DICK ,the door"
The voodoo dick rose out of its box,darted over to the door and started
screwing the keyhole.The whole door shook with the vibrations,and a crack
developed down the middle.Before the door could split the old man said
"voodoo dick ,back into your box"
The voodoo dick stopped,floated back to the box and lay there.
The business man said " I'll take it"
The old man resisted and said it wasn't for sale,but he surrendered to
£700 in cash.He took it home to his wife and told her it was a special dildo and
to use it all she had to say was "voodoo dick ,my pussy"
He left for his trip content that things will be ok while he was away.
After he was gone for a few days his wife was unbearably horny,she
thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her,but then she
remembered the voodoo dick,she got it out and said "voodoo dick ,my pussy".the
voodoo dick shot to her scrotch and started pumping,it was great like nothing
she'd ever experienced before.
After three orgasms she decided she's had enough and tried to pull it
out,but it was stuck in her still thrusting.She tried and tried to get it out but all in vain.Her husband had forgotten to tell her how yo stop it,so she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.She put on her clothes got into her car and drove to the hospital quivering with
every thrust of the dildo.On the way another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road and she was pulled over by a policeman.He asked for her licence and then asked how much she had to drink.Gasping and twitching,she explained that she hadn't been drinking,but a voodoo dick was stuck in her pussy  and wouldn't stop screwing

The policeman looked at her for a second and then said" YEAH ,RIGHT,VOODOO DICK,MY ASS!!!