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Post Info TOPIC: Dictionary for Women!!!


Guru

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Dictionary for Women!!!
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THIS WAS FORWARDED TO ME BY A FRIEND AND I THOUGHT OF SHARING IT WITH YOU GUYS AND THEREFORE DOES NOT REPRESENT MY THINKING IN ANY WAY ESPECIALLY TO ALL WOMEN,THANK YOU.


DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

         40-ish                        -       49
         Adventurous            -       Slept with everyone
         Athletic                      -       No tits
         Average looking          -       Ugly
         Beautiful                     -       Pathological liar
         Contagious Smile        -       Does a lot of pills
         Emotionally secure      -       On medication
         Feminist                     -       Fat
         Free spirit                   -       Junkie
         Friendship first            -       Former very *friendly* person
         Fun                            -       Annoying
         New Age                    -       Body hair in the wrong places
         Open-minded              -       Desperate
         Outgoing                    -       Loud and Embarrassing
         Passionate                 -       Sloppy drunk
         Professional               -       Bitch
         Voluptuous                 -       Very Fat
         Large frame                 -       Hugely Fat
         Wants Soul mate         -       Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

         1. Yes                                   =       No
         2. No                                    =       Yes
         3. Maybe                                =       No
         4. We need                             =       I want
         5. I am sorry                            =       you'll be sorry
         6. We need to talk                    =       you're in trouble
         7. Sure, go ahead                     =       you better not
         8. Do what you want               =       you will pay for this later
         9. I am not upset                      =       of course I am upset, you moron!
       10. You're very attentive tonight  =  is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH



         1. I am hungry                                     =       I am hungry
         2. I am sleepy                                       =       I am sleepy
         3. I am tired                                          =       I am tired
         4. Nice dress                                         =       Nice cleavage!
         5. I love you                                           =       let's have sex now
         6. I am bored                                          =       Do you want to have sex?
         7. May I have this dance?                       =       I'd like to have sex with you
         8. Can I call you sometime?                   =       I'd like to have sex with you
         9. Do you want to go to a movie?          =       I'd like to have sex with you
         10. Can I take you out to dinner?           =       I'd like to have sex with you
         11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit  =       I'm gay


And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.


For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.


However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.


 



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For have I now become your enemy for telling you the truth?-Galatians 4 v16.


Guru

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Scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.


 


The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain   phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.


 


To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:


 


1) Argued over nothing.


 


2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.


 


3) Gained weight.


 


4) Talked excessively without making sense.


 


5) Became overly emotional.


 


6) Couldn't drive.


 


7) Failed to think rationally.


 


8) Had to sit down while urinating.


 


No further testing was considered necessary.



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"Gimme the weed and i will get high for i have not failed but discovered ways that just dont work"


Guru

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Ha ha ha ha ha ha

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YTP


Guru

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Lol! You just made my day! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

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