Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: For all you Sane Malawians.....


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 80
Date:
For all you Sane Malawians.....
Permalink Closed


Have a gr8 laugh, a fabulous weekend and enjoy ur sanity.....YES even you too Plato...


ANSWERING MACHINE AT A MENTAL HOSPITAL

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline..."

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, and date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you."

If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up



__________________
S_M_I_L_E_ Its the second best thing you can do with your lips......
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse
Powered by ActiveBoard