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hazeleyes


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Men and Marriage
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A question for my fellow Malawians......If you are in a relationship for say 2/3 years and the brother shows no sign on wanting to marry you, and always avoids the topic of marriage....is that a sign that he has no intention of marrying you? (this is in no way a reflection of my current situation)


I read somewhere that the topic of men and marriage is a simple one.......if a man wants to marry you, there is nothing in the world that would stop him from doing so. Excuses such as 'i'm not ready' , 'lets wait until we are both stable in our careers', etc. are simply an indication that marrying you is not in his plan. It goes on to say that if a man is with you for such a long period, with no plans of walking down the aisle, it simply means he is waiting for someone better to come along. How true is this? What is the truth about men and marriage?


On a different note, if your boyfriend of say 2 years tells you he has no intention of getting married or having kids and doesn't believe in marriage, and yet you want marriage, kids, etc. - what do you do? Do you dump him after 2 blissful years because you want marriage, etc. or do you stay with him and hope he changes his mind later on?


I would be very interested in getting your opinions on these issues (especially from a male's perspective).


 



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Pope


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There is something that makes people get married.If some one is in love it does not guarantee marriage.

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YTP


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Pope wrote:

There is something that makes people get married.If some one is in love it does not guarantee marriage.

From what i know, you either know that this is who i want to spend the rest of my life with or you dont. No matter how long it takes, two months or two yrs, if she is the one for him, time doesnt matter. If you still hang on, let me assure you that he wont think twice about going to the right one he's been waiting for when she turns up. And the speed at which he mentions marriage to her will shock you to your roots!!!! Its like that.


He is either into you or you are just a waiting point. Take it or leave it!!!! Very discouraging but its the truth.




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hazeleyes


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YTP wrote:

From what i know, you either know that this is who i want to spend the rest of my life with or you dont. No matter how long it takes, two months or two yrs, if she is the one for him, time doesnt matter. If you still hang on, let me assure you that he wont think twice about going to the right one he's been waiting for when she turns up. And the speed at which he mentions marriage to her will shock you to your roots!!!! Its like that. He is either into you or you are just a waiting point. Take it or leave it!!!! Very discouraging but its the truth.
I agree with you YTP.......I think you know very early on in the relationship that this is the person I want to marry........but I guess the important thing is to let that person know instead of letting them hang on in the hope that a marriage proposal is on the way!!! I would hate to be a 'waiting point' in any relationship, which is why I fail to understand how some women / or men, choose to remain in a relationship knowing perfectly well that marriage is not on the cards (assuming that is what they want).

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YTP


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Hazeleyes, i think all of us know the truth from the beginning but we dont  want to acknowledge it cos we always live in a make believe world where everything is perfect. It takes  strong guts and the will to come out and move on when we know we are pushing a brick wall.


Fear of the unknown and insecurity is what makes some of us make the worst of our miserable relationships. I believe no-one should be on tenterhooks as to when the question should be popped. The right one talks about marriage way b4 you are ready for it.



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hazeleyes


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YTP wrote:

Hazeleyes, i think all of us know the truth from the beginning but we dont  want to acknowledge it cos we always live in a make believe world where everything is perfect. It takes  strong guts and the will to come out and move on when we know we are pushing a brick wall. Fear of the unknown and insecurity is what makes some of us make the worst of our miserable relationships. I believe no-one should be on tenterhooks as to when the question should be popped. The right one talks about marriage way b4 you are ready for it.
True true.....i don't think marriage should be this big secret in a relationship.....if your intention is to eventually get married, be it in 1 month, 2 years, or 8 years time, then this intention should be expressed to your partner. I guess the key here is communication.

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YTP


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hazeleyes wrote:

YTP wrote: Hazeleyes, i think all of us know the truth from the beginning but we dont  want to acknowledge it cos we always live in a make believe world where everything is perfect. It takes  strong guts and the will to come out and move on when we know we are pushing a brick wall. Fear of the unknown and insecurity is what makes some of us make the worst of our miserable relationships. I believe no-one should be on tenterhooks as to when the question should be popped. The right one talks about marriage way b4 you are ready for it. True true.....i don't think marriage should be this big secret in a relationship.....if your intention is to eventually get married, be it in 1 month, 2 years, or 8 years time, then this intention should be expressed to your partner. I guess the key here is communication.
GLAD WE ARE OF THE SAME MIND!!!!

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Pope


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Marriage....waiting for eight years, yes.But not when both of you are working.

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YTP


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Pope wrote:

Marriage....waiting for eight years, yes.But not when both of you are working.
What do you mean?

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Mulopwana


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For me that is an indication that the guy is not interested in marrying you. You cannot avoid the mention of marriage for 3years neither can you be in a relationship for 2 years and never think of getting married. Kids are blessings in a marriage. From a male perspective, I would not behave like that if I love the girl. That is an indication that the girl is not part of my plans and she doesnt exist. I am up just to use her.

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