'LIVING IN SIN'

chim · Newbie

'LIVING IN SIN'

Njiba · Veteran Member

is the notion of marriage a distant thing for young Malawians like myself ?

Are you offering yourself for marriage Chim?

............. Just wondering ........

GWAN · Member

the malawi scenario is more accurately : boy meets girl etc etc.

whether you are called partners, husband and wife, and what not; at the end of the day these are just labels.so long the two are HAPPY TOGETHER that's fine.

...........definitely not wondering................

-- Edited by GWAN at 21:43, 2005-01-25

-- Edited by GWAN at 21:45, 2005-01-25

Tony Montana · Newbie

Interesting topic you brought up. I personally don't see anything wrong with "living in sin". If/when I get married I definitely plan on living with the person for at least a year or two before we get married because I don't want any surprises. You want to see your future wife/husband in both their best and worst moments. People who decide to not live with their mates before marriage are almost as funny as people who save themselves for marriage.

-Tony Montana

GWAN · Member

and by the way, why do you call the scenarios living in sin ? on whose terms ?

Ngwazi · Guru

amwene chilungamo chake is that people in these parts of the world do all what you said because of the desire to remain in love.Working patterns in the western world dictate the pace and rule almost your entire life hence if you want to remain with your partner or be able to have your partner near you most of the time,you start to cohabit and then popeza things do happen basino girl gets pregnant kenako basi kupanga formalise.But personally I would not call this "Living in sin"but rather "the things that people do when they are in love".

MISS THANG · Senior Member

Hiya!

If two people in love are living hundreds of miles apart, wouldn't it be cheaper for them to move in together?

And also this is not just happening in the west, even in Malawi people are doing the same thing. Times change and people have got to move with the times.

There's nothing wrong with people living together. As long as they are happy with it, it shouldn't be anyones problem. Even marrages break up after a couple of kids have been born. Nothing is forever in this world so just do what you can to make your life worthwhile while you have the means to do it coz you never know what tomorrow brings.

And finally, it really is a persons choice. if someone is happy to co-habitate then let them do it and if some one doesn't feel comfee living with the opposite sex then it's their choice as well.

Peace and out!

logo · Newbie

quote:
Originally posted by: chim
" My question is.....is the notion of marriage a distant thing for young Malawians like myself? Are we heading towards a future of having 'long-term partners' as opposed to being 'husband & wife'?

" living in sin " ...... does this term still exist anymore? Does it still function or apply to today's couting? I mean how many pple are heading for the altar, zinkhonswe etc without first moving in together? U'll see that the percentage is close to zero.He he !! worst still only a tiny percentage wait for sex till marriage - thats still living in sin right? Heard Jessica Simpson saved her virginity till she did the " I do " thing with Nick at the altar. I think gone are those days when it was a subject of concern to move in with your parner after marriage .. pple don't care these days bola ali limodzi.

" long term partners " ...... I doubt it! Not that am discouraging anyone out there who's aspiring to have a long term partner, almost everyone desires that. i've heard a number of pple who say that long term relationships are uninteresting.Kaya ndiziona kaya...But I guese it all depends individually some pple tend to spice up thier relationships all the way.

masha · Newbie

It is a person choice alright, its just that sometimes it becomes too much hey you live with your partner for 5-10 yrs or more JUST LIVING TOGETHER!!!!!!!!! It doesnt take that long to know your partner at this point its either you want to get married someday or staying together just for convinience.If I was a lady with a partner not showing signs of marriage after so long I would leave! not that Iam being selfish for being a man but hey I see a lot of sistas stuck to brothers who are just happy to have someone to share bills with... its not easy for a lady to find another partner after some guy had her for years men. As much as it is not a sin to most of us but hey everybody deserves some respect...Oh by the way Logo, not all long term relationships are uninteresting just like not all shorterm ones are.....its just how compatible. loving, understanding & communication is btween the partners I have been married for 5 yrs myself & it gets better everyday...of course that doesnot include the yr of living in

chim · Newbie

quote:
Originally posted by: Njiba
"is the notion of marriage a distant thing for young Malawians like myself ? Are you offering yourself for marriage Chim? ............. Just wondering ........ "

Njiba, when i find Mr Right i would like to get married.........but i'm not putting myself 'on offer' for marriage, if thats what you are asking.

chim · Newbie

quote:
Originally posted by: Tony Montana
"Interesting topic you brought up. I personally don't see anything wrong with "living in sin". If/when I get married I definitely plan on living with the person for at least a year or two before we get married because I don't want any surprises. You want to see your future wife/husband in both their best and worst moments. People who decide to not live with their mates before marriage are almost as funny as people who save themselves for marriage. -Tony Montana"

Tony, I totally agree with you there. I personally would want to live with my partner before i got married........however, as someone has already said, if what you want is to get married, and 5 years down the line you are still living with the guy who shows no sign of wanting to walk down that aisle, its time to step. I guess one big fear is disappointing my parents, etc. - and being a female, i think its even harder for parents to accept that (u know what Malawi is like with regards to the church, and caring about what others think of you, etc).

chim · Newbie

quote:
Originally posted by: GWAN
"and by the way, why do you call the scenarios living in sin ? on whose terms ?"

the term 'living in sin' is just a common term used for such situations. don't ask me how the term came about, but i'm guessing it stemmed from religion, and the church's idea of whats right or wrong.

chim · Newbie

quote:
Originally posted by: MISS THANG
"Hiya! If two people in love are living hundreds of miles apart, wouldn't it be cheaper for them to move in together? And also this is not just happening in the west, even in Malawi people are doing the same thing. Times change and people have got to move with the times. There's nothing wrong with people living together. As long as they are happy with it, it shouldn't be anyones problem. Even marrages break up after a couple of kids have been born. Nothing is forever in this world so just do what you can to make your life worthwhile while you have the means to do it coz you never know what tomorrow brings. And finally, it really is a persons choice. if someone is happy to co-habitate then let them do it and if some one doesn't feel comfee living with the opposite sex then it's their choice as well. Peace and out!"

miss thang, i'm not saying there is anything wrong with living with someone prior to marriage. it is a choice. however, i feel that the reasons for living together should be love and not financial (i.e. the rent will be cheaper) - i personally think that is a recipe for disaster.

GWAN · Member

chim

good ol' religion!good ol' Church!

logo · Newbie

quote:

Originally posted by: mash

"Oh by the way Logo, not all long term relationships are uninteresting just like not all shorterm ones are.....its just how compatible. loving, understanding & communication is btween the partners I have been married for 5 yrs myself & it gets better everyday...of course that doesnot include the yr of living in "

Good to hear that your long term relationship has been amazing eversince, your doin the right thing I'll salute you on that one. Anyway... I was jus makin some reference on some pple I know who confessed that their long term relationship ended up enexcting.. but like I said earlier on some pple spice up their relationship all the way.

eetchef · Senior Member

LIVING IN SIN~{!-~}. EVER HEARD OF IT!

The beginning, middle and end of any religion is man himself. And this includes the beliefs of sin that heaven is to earth and supporting the sacredness of the soul by treating man on earth as the sinners according to our religious teachings. How do we people assert the fact that by living together in a house outside wedlock is living in sin? I am a catholic by faith but I always believe that the Catholics doctrine of trinity shall one day change of which shall be considered normal to live with a woman outside wedlock ngati makolo athu kalekale. Having said that let me add that any Christian system of belief represents a hidden humanism, which can be discovered using the essence of this Christianity sin we are talking about. Let me explain plainly here, this implies that the truth behind the veil of religion is that religion is a veiled humanism. So it is not God, but man who intellectually creates the world in his language, who crates his picture of himself, his psychological states and who can resolve the problems we have through love for man. We live in the same flat/house in the same bed because we love each other, because we are what we are. As a matter of fact those religious beliefs do not make man but man make religion. It is the same as a government: the constitution of the state doesn~{!/~}t make the people, but the people make the constitution. In short one day it shall be a rule that before you wed, stay together, have a baby and then wed. Wait a minute: AIDS ameneyu akupangitsa ma church ena (Christian fundamentalists) ngati ~{!0~}Living Waters ~{!0~} ku Blantyre kuti the couple should firstly go for HIV/AIDS testing before marrying. So the short cut is live under one roof, fertilise the woman and then go to Living Waters.

Njiba · Veteran Member

Eetchef,

I know I am branching off from the issue in hand but Eeetchef ( my friend,homie,nzangawe) your English is very well structured and the soul behind your words has to be deep and profound - sometimes it goes over my head, however i have to question your ability to COMMUNICATE because I for one and others who I know to have read your response do not know what you are talking about. Can you water it down a little?

I mean if an issue is complex and I am to sit an exam for it, thats fine. Koma Nchezi just shouldn't be this complex. Eti Ma guy ?

Njiba.

chim · Newbie

quote:
Originally posted by: Njiba
"Eetchef, I know I am branching off from the issue in hand but Eeetchef ( my friend,homie,nzangawe) your English is very well structured and the soul behind your words has to be deep and profound - sometimes it goes over my head, however i have to question your ability to COMMUNICATE because I for one and others who I know to have read your response do not know what you are talking about. Can you water it down a little? I mean if an issue is complex and I am to sit an exam for it, thats fine. Koma Nchezi just shouldn't be this complex. Eti Ma guy ? Njiba. "

Njiba,

I totally understand what you mean. I had to read Eetchef's comments a couple of times to fully grasp what he was saying. I think what Eetchef is saying (and I'm sure he'll correct me if I'm wrong), is that religion was created by man, therefore the comment I made earlier about the term 'living in sin' being based on religion should not be taken to heart because the rules of religion, if I can call them that, will evolve and eventually it might become the case that living together / having sex before marriage may not be classed as a 'sin' in the eyes of religion.

Not sure how the Living Waters issue ties in though!

Njiba · Veteran Member

OooKhaye , lol- Thanks for the breakdown Chim. I feel what he is saying. Njiba.

Sungani · Veteran Member

http://www.stud.ntnu.no/~alexann/

eetchef · Senior Member

I have to confess, honestly I impregnate what I write. Sorry my fellow country members .Sometimes I feel like its to do with attitude. I make members lives difficult, its sad . Kunyamula makatoni the whole day in the warehouse and after that ...straight for a glass which unfortunately is 60% water and then visiting Malawiana cooks-up and rapes my mind. Well, from now onwards Chim shall be editing what I write. I am so impressed with her expertise. How she squized in 10 sentences into a single plausible phrase I cant know. Thanks Chim and yu are my flower. I promise to revolutionalise and take a glass 95% water.

Tony Montana · Newbie

quote:
Originally posted by: eetchef
"I have to confess, honestly I impregnate what I write. Sorry my fellow country members .Sometimes I feel like its to do with attitude. I make members lives difficult, its sad . Kunyamula makatoni the whole day in the warehouse and after that ...straight for a glass which unfortunately is 60% water and then visiting Malawiana cooks-up and rapes my mind. Well, from now onwards Chim shall be editing what I write. I am so impressed with her expertise. How she squized in 10 sentences into a single plausible phrase I cant know. Thanks Chim and yu are my flower. I promise to revolutionalise and take a glass 95% water. "

Chingerezi chivuta pa malawiana. "I impregnate what I write"???WTF? "Visiting Malawiana cooks-up and rapes my mind". If you have friends I suggest that you dump them all because true friends are not supposed to let you make a fool of yourself like this. If your mission was to make us laugh, then you have accomplished it. If this is a cry for help and you are looking for some assistance with the English language, please contact me ASAP.

chim · Newbie

quote:
Originally posted by: eetchef
"I have to confess, honestly I impregnate what I write. Sorry my fellow country members .Sometimes I feel like its to do with attitude. I make members lives difficult, its sad . Kunyamula makatoni the whole day in the warehouse and after that ...straight for a glass which unfortunately is 60% water and then visiting Malawiana cooks-up and rapes my mind. Well, from now onwards Chim shall be editing what I write. I am so impressed with her expertise. How she squized in 10 sentences into a single plausible phrase I cant know. Thanks Chim and yu are my flower. I promise to revolutionalise and take a glass 95% water. "

......'u r my flower??'

- steady now.....why not make that a 100% glass of water.........as for me editing your postings, sounds like too much hard work!!! i think tony montana has already volunteered his services on that front.

MISS THANG · Senior Member

quote:
Originally posted by: Tony Montana
" Chingerezi chivuta pa malawiana. "I impregnate what I write"???WTF? "Visiting Malawiana cooks-up and rapes my mind". If you have friends I suggest that you dump them all because true friends are not supposed to let you make a fool of yourself like this. If your mission was to make us laugh, then you have accomplished it. If this is a cry for help and you are looking for some assistance with the English language, please contact me ASAP. "

He He! Word up! I Don't think the guy needs help with the English language. It's obvious that he can hold his own but i think the problem is simplifying what he write's so that ordinally Malawians like you and me can graps the gist(SP?????) of what he writes and understand it.

It's all good!

Njiba · Veteran Member

Eetchef,

>I have to confess, honestly I impregnate what I write.

LOL Dala,you could be a poet,the language is vivid. Anyway someone will have to breadown your responses because at times your point is hard to find.On some occasions your point is expressed immediately but the facts supporting your assertions run on for just too long. Since you raised the issue of your glass being 60% water then i beg to question if the 40 % is empty or maybe ,mwina you add in a little something to calm your nerves. Dont worry about it.... " My name is Njiba and I AM an alcoholic "

eetchef · Senior Member

TONY MONTANA.......You dont have a single general idea about what you want to say. This should be your last time to use the "???WTF? " on me. Who should care anyway who writes what english or chichewa here? Malawiana is about more than politicking and chitchat. It is about creating and sustaining a Malawian society the world over. Its not solely for Malawians based in UK or US ......... as long as you are a Malawian then Malawiana fits you better. Whether you use Yao, Lomwe, Tonga, Lambya, patched up english ...etc ....no-one should ever rise-up and become a teacher of men. Its not a question of aiming at feeling top on Malawiana or playing a fools-game, however, take it to your heart that the way how I give oppinions is my identity. Of course I need to communicate , language has to communicate and I communicate but not exactly. People like MONTANAS have thought themselves to feel like ........(nincompoops) and no wonder many more new Malawian members feel like scared and troubled to post their oppinions for fear of being schooled with their language and tastes of grammar. Do you think you are the only person who wish and long to have your postings here? No , a thousand more wants but they wrongly have an impression that Malawiana is a society which is not well run just coz of kind like you . Lets make it more prosperous and never put sense into somebodys head by chopping it off. Simply say , communicate and one day I shall. I dont want to stop to learn and i want to learn some more from all you guys. Lets create a society that is also caring and compassionate, a society that values personal intergrity, a society that has greater, nobler goals than mere effieciency . Maybe I am in the wrong society, I have to know otherwise well life is too short to be wasted fighting ......like MONTANA.

Njiba · Veteran Member

Eetchef,

Zisiye izi, What you write IS English with character and imagination. Some of us who at times cannot grasp it are humble enough to ask for a breakdown. Others feel that THEY know the language completely such that if the writing is not within their narrow definition of the language, then it is not English. The inherent assumption they make is that their weak and short cerebral tentacles can grasp the concept behind every paragraph you deliver. Unfortunately it is obvious that they havent mastered the English language enough to use and unfortunately even understand metaphors and similees - Awuze Eetchef

Njiba.

Blackdiamond · Newbie

how narrow minded can you be really?Actualy i have the greatest respect for people that save themselves for marriage because its clear that they have more values and esteem and self control than most could only ever dream of!I think that the world has twisted the word love with lust!Peole just confuse themselves and before they know it, they have a broken heart and a long list of names(if they remember)of people who they have slept with and well, things didnt really work out!(thats a whole other discussion altogether)

Anyway, as the topic was people living together before marriage, i totally disagree that they should stay together before they take their vows. Whats the point then?Marriage is ment to be sacred and beautiful, i think that whole purpose id defeated when couples have 'marriage trails' by staying together to see each other in thier 'best and worst moments?'thats ridiculous!Its ment to be for better or worse till death do us part, not till i get bored of having you as a flat mate!....!my views, nothing personal!

Blackdiamond · Newbie

quote:
Originally posted by: Tony Montana
"Interesting topic you brought up. I personally don't see anything wrong with "living in sin". If/when I get married I definitely plan on living with the person for at least a year or two before we get married because I don't want any surprises. You want to see your future wife/husband in both their best and worst moments. People who decide to not live with their mates before marriage are almost as funny as people who save themselves for marriage. -Tony Montana"

how narrow minded can you be really Tony?Actualy i have the greatest respect for people that save themselves for marriage because its clear that they have more values and esteem and self control than most could only ever dream of!I think that the world has twisted the word love with lust!Peole just confuse themselves and before they know it, they have a broken heart and a long list of names(if they remember)of people who they have slept with and well, things didnt really work out!(thats a whole other discussion altogether)

Anyway, as the topic was people living together before marriage, i totally disagree that they should stay together before they take their vows. Whats the point then?Marriage is ment to be sacred and beautiful, i think that whole purpose id defeated when couples have 'marriage trails' by staying together to see each other in thier 'best and worst moments?'thats ridiculous!Its ment to be for better or worse till death do us part, not till i get bored of having you as a flat mate!....!my views, nothing personal!

Blackdiamond · Newbie

quote:
Originally posted by: eetchef
" LIVING IN SIN~{!-~}. EVER HEARD OF IT! The beginning, middle and end of any religion is man himself. And this includes the beliefs of sin that heaven is to earth and supporting the sacredness of the soul by treating man on earth as the sinners according to our religious teachings. How do we people assert the fact that by living together in a house outside wedlock is living in sin? I am a catholic by faith but I always believe that the Catholics doctrine of trinity shall one day change of which shall be considered normal to live with a woman outside wedlock ngati makolo athu kalekale. Having said that let me add that any Christian system of belief represents a hidden humanism, which can be discovered using the essence of this Christianity sin we are talking about. Let me explain plainly here, this implies that the truth behind the veil of religion is that religion is a veiled humanism. So it is not God, but man who intellectually creates the world in his language, who crates his picture of himself, his psychological states and who can resolve the problems we have through love for man. We live in the same flat/house in the same bed because we love each other, because we are what we are. As a matter of fact those religious beliefs do not make man but man make religion. It is the same as a government: the constitution of the state doesn~{!/~}t make the people, but the people make the constitution. In short one day it shall be a rule that before you wed, stay together, have a baby and then wed. Wait a minute: AIDS ameneyu akupangitsa ma church ena (Christian fundamentalists) ngati ~{!0~}Living Waters ~{!0~} ku Blantyre kuti the couple should firstly go for HIV/AIDS testing before marrying. So the short cut is live under one roof, fertilise the woman and then go to Living Waters. "

Oh my goodness! i cant believe half the stuf that you wrote! Do you really believe that or are you just trying to get reactions from people!How can you honestly say that man created the world?If it wasnt for God there would be no existance at all, its fact and its people like you that always try to twist things and make religion look like a mess, just because you simply dont understand it!If a couple loves each other, whats to stop them from getting married, if they are living together and promise to love each other forever, whats standing in thier way of taking vows?People that live together are just not bald enough to fully commit to marriage!Your views are really annoying to be quite honest!How can you say that living together will one day be a rule and that the church should initiate that?Those are the same things the church is trying to stop!Look do your research!If you have a girlfriend i feel sorry for her!'fertelise the woman then go to living waters'....you are pathetic and you dont value women and love as much as you should!You know whats even more pathetic, if you have a girlfriend and she reads this and stays with you............SPEECHLESS! ]bUT HEY, WHO AM I TO JUDGE YOU?Lets not even get started on the HIV/AIDS issue! YOu are heartless! I believe that people should have tests before marriage to stop them having children and leaving them sick and orophaned in a few years. If people wernt premiscious, none of this would matter! And if people like yo u took God more seriously, and realised life's worth, the world would be a better place!